A suburban commando like you needs a paracord knife. Rest assured, the "invisible hand" is never wrong; what if you need to be able to cut yourself out of your vehicle's restraints? What if your HALO deployment over foreign-occupied Maryland sees you caught in a tree?
Don't strain yourself thinking up some half-baked solution. Mil-Tec has already thought about it, and all you need is this badass knife.
